Ours to love, but not to keep

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Almost two weeks into having our little baby with us, these are some of the things I have heard:

"I couldn't do it - I couldn't give them back!"

(It's not easy, but this is not about me.)

"Don't hang your heart on this baby too much!"

 (Too late. And she is welcome to take a piece of my heart with her.)

"She is so sweet! Why don't you just keep her?"

(Because even if she does go into long term foster care, this is not what we do. There are quite a few families waiting for a long term foster child in our area, but very few who do emergency foster care. She will definitely not stay.)

"Aren't you going to cry when you have to give her up?"

(Definitely.)

"Wow, congratulations! I didn't even know you were pregnant - you look great!"

(Well, thanks!) P.S. My favourite ☺

So why did we become a foster family? I mean, apart from the fact that we love doing this and find it enriches our lives in so many ways?

Because these children need someone who can. Who can love them unreservedly and unconditionally (and as imperfect as we are - we do try). Who can love them today like tomorrow won't mean good-bye. Because these children are wonderfully and beautifully made and because God loves each of them as if He only had that one child to love. Because we believe that every loving touch, every loving word does make a difference, even if the child will never consciously remember it.

Because, to us, this is as much about the biological parents as it is about the children. With all the "professional distance" that necessarily comes with our task, we do believe that the parents deserve to not be judged yet again, but be shown and told that there is a God of Love, a God of the Broken, who wants to give them a future and a hope, and who can make all things new - if only they let Him.

Because we want our own children to see that we act on our faith, not just talk about it.

We do this not because WE are so great, but because our God is so great.

And each day I have a foster child with me adds to my treasure. I will not look at the days I did not get, but instead will live each day to its fullest and be present in the moment. After all, there is no guarantee for any of us that a tomorrow follows our today.

"Am I to concern myself with an allotment of days I never had and was never promised? Must I check off each day of my life as if I am subtracting from this imaginary hoard? No, on the contrary, I will add each day of my life to my treasure of days lived. And with each day, my treasure will grow, not diminish." ~ Robert Brault

Is giving the children back hard? Do we cry? Of course. But you know what? Sometimes no one has cried over and missed these children before. They deserve it that someone does.

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